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The Other 364

My relationship with Valentine's Day is...complicated.

I became an outspoken anti-Valentine's Day crusader back in middle school, donning all black and rejecting all things "valentines" for more than 2 decades, regardless of my relationship status. When we started dating, my husband was content to pass on Valentine's Day, too (he's pretty lucky, right?). But, now we have precious kids who want us to be their valentines and hope for little treats and what's a loving parent to do? We caved and bought them soft teddy bears and cookies, and like I said, it's complicated.     

I love LOVE, obviously. I've got a lot personally and professionally wrapped up in loving people well. It's a talk I have to walk each day to feel like I can show up with any authenticity here, and with the couples I serve. I don't do it perfectly by any stretch, but I know loving people well is why we're here. If I leave this world having done only one thing well, I know that needs to be it.

That said, it can be hard in the crush of life to savor the moments together, to express our gratitude, and to show affection and care as often as our partners, children, family, or friends would like. So, days like today act like a gentle shake to remind us to keep our heads in the game. To do the things we know we need to do to let the people we care about really know it.

But, I'm not a fan of all the fabricated fanfare that comes with it: the exceedingly high expectations and comparisons, the "singles awareness" component, the "Hallmark holiday" angle. I love chocolates, flowers, cards, good food, and all those things! I really love feeling appreciated and celebrated by my partner and kiddos. But, if they nailed it once a year and that was it, my tank would be woefully empty (as would theirs).

One day a year cannot carry the weight of 364 where our relationships take the backseat to everything else we have going on.

So, whether today is a standard Monday or you plan to pull out all the stops, have a plan for the next 364 days. How you show up each day, connect through the chaos, prioritize each other, and find the fun - those are the everyday moments that ultimately build your life together. 

Make them all count. 

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